This has been a year of incomplete tasks, I thought to myself as I jotted down another new idea in my 2017 planner. Another damn idea. I already had a list of tasks I needed to complete for the 3 other works in progress I had piling up on my desk. And here's another. Something else to take up my time. Something else for me to beat myself up for not completing.
My God, if I could share with you all the incomplete projects that are currently awaiting my return. Workbooks, and events, and books—oh, there are so many books in progress. So many great ideas, not enough time. Or resources. Or life left in me. Or excuses to explain why I haven't finished at least one of them. Not a one.
This has been a year of incomplete tasks, I repeated in thought, getting frustrated with the ways I may have dropped the ball. Over the last two years I've been motivated by this newness. Inspired by growth. Invigorated by excitement. But this year. This year is different. Because this is the year dedicated to staying afloat. To honing in on my skills. This year is a test of consistency. Of maintaining what I've built while other areas of my life run amuck. Or fall apart. Whew, how things have fallen apart.
This has been a year of incomplete tasks, I yelled to myself in the quietest whisper, condemning myself for my inactivity. Blaming myself for conjuring up so many good ideas and completing not one of them. Getting mad at myself that my 2nd More Than Enough Spoken Word Showcase hasn't happened yet. Cussing myself out for not having completed this workbook's first draft. Fighting myself with the reality that my personal and spiritual development took precedence over all these ideas; all these damn ideas.
This has been a year of...
...But this year isn't over, myself replied—again, in thought. It's April. And if my calendar serves me right, I have a little over 7 months left. 7 months to finish the things I started. 7 months to place the final period on all of these works. 7 months to close the back cover of 2017. 7 months to really figure this stuff. 7 months to get it done. Get it off the ground. Get it up and running. 7 months to adapt to all that is changing around (and within) me, and to do this. Like, really do this.
Because this year isn't over, and the beginning will not be the end. How my year started won't be how it ends. Recognizing that is refreshing. Understanding that is encouraging. And perhaps that's the motivation I need to stop beating myself up and start checking things off this to-do list. To realize that this feeling of incompletion, though normal, is a bit premature.
Perhaps, that's the motivation you need too. Maybe it's what you need to hear after you checked back into your vision board and realized nothing you pasted there has come to fruition. It's quite possible that these are the words you need to read when you realized all the plans you had for this year weren't panning out as you had hoped. Perhaps this idea—that the year isn't over yet—that the year is just beginning—is what you need to soothe your spirit after realizing that everything you worked for in 2016 seemed to have fallen apart in these first 4 months. Or maybe, you're like me, simply beating yourself up for not having finished the many things you started this year, without appreciating all the things you have.
Regardless of where you may be in this moment, where you may be this year, know that there is still time for it all to change. Know that no matter how your year began, it won't end the same. Recognize that there is still lots more space for growth, change, and progression. And understand that there is still 7 more months to accomplish everything you wish to.
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