The job requisition sat in my file cabinet for three weeks. I tucked it away deep enough to silence its screams; it was a perfect position for me, but I hadn't been here long, and to apply to an internal position a mere six months after starting this one would be absurd. So I printed it out, and talked myself out of it. Why'd I even bother printing it?
I blamed the 30-minute drive to work for the reason I didn't want to submit my application. It would be too much of a stretch from my current seven minute drive, so the job requisition stayed there. In the file. Tucked away behind my benefits election paperwork, and a condescending e-mail from a superior. I kept everything - including that req.
Then one day I pulled it out. Finally. It was a mix of being overwhelmed, underappreciated, and unhappy. I doctored up my resume and cover letter, and hit the apply button through the online portal. While I'd only been here for six months, something in me was screaming "take the chance." That same something told me to go for it. To apply. So I did. I hit the button and sent my resume, cover letter, and references on its way. I put the job requisition back in my file folder after placing a bold pink check mark in the upper right hand corner. "It is done," I said to myself, not recognizing the power of that declaration in that moment.
See, that job was in the very field I planned to ascend to, per the two year plan I drafted when I began here. It was exactly where I wanted be in higher education: Student Affairs. In my current role (may I remind you, 'my current role' is the one I interviewed for and received three days after being completely unemployed), I worked with alums. But the small role I had working with the 2017 graduating seniors was what really made me light up from day-to-day. It was the excitement that pulled me out of bed.
I knew, however, my work with the students in this role hadn't been significant enough to write off as experience; still, I tried my luck. I applied to the position about eight days before the two-month posting closed. Had I waited another week, I'd have no story to share. I was e-mailed a few days later for an interview, and a few days after that for a second one. Time wasn't on my side. The fact that I left my job prior to this one after a year and a half, and then this one after a half year, I didn't seem like the most stable candidate. But I was (probably) the most passionate. The most determined. The most honest about my intended career trajectory and why I decided to take this leap.
So I got it. A job in the field I didn't expect to get until 2018. The job that I let sit in my file cabinet for 3 weeks. The job that I talked myself out of, then into, then out of again. The job that I had previously eliminated my candidacy from. The job that I really wanted.
As I sit here on my last day of my current job, saying bye to the students here, while preparing for a transition to the next G&P school where I will meet new students, I can't help but to be grateful. One, for the amazing students I grew to know and love (despite my short time here), and two, for the reality that in my next role, my job will be to know and love more students. That my main role will be to provide support and guidance to over 300 graduate students. That my duty will be to ensure that these people are well provided for during their matriculation, and properly prepared for life after.
I talk a lot about being led by God and the great places that obedience can take you. But this, this was one of those "just go for it" moments; and that's one of the important things about obedience. Sometimes you just have to go for it. You have to make (and implement) decisions for yourself no matter how fearful you may be. You have to make moves no matter how much doubt corrodes your spirit. You have to do things despite your uncertainty. You have to go for what you want (as long as it aligns with your purpose) with poise and positivity, silencing the pessimism. You have to do more than just think about doing. You have to actually do. Despite your uncertainty and worry, you have to just...try. Sometimes you just have to leap without wondering where the hell you'll fall.
See, things don't always have to make sense for them to manifest. The time doesn't always have to be right, for you to receive supernatural blessings. Your situations don't have to be perfect for great things to happen. You don't have to be all together for God to provide the desires of your heart. You simply just have to go for it.
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