Anybody who truly knows me, knows there's no place I'd rather be on Resurrection Sunday, than at Varick Memorial AME Zion Church, in New Haven CT. I love my church with my whole heart and if they had services every night of the week, well, I'd be there every night of the week. My excitement this Resurrection Sunday was no different than any other, as I shopped for the perfect dress, went to the hair salon and prepared for a blessed weekend.
Only this Resurrection Sunday was different, because I got caught up in a sinus infection and eyes that were sensitive to the light shining through my window. I didn't care, though. I was determined to get on the move and make it; because I knew there was going to be an amazing message in the high school auditorium that this Sunday's service was being held.
An hour before service I made it up in my mind that it was time to drag myself out of bed, do what I could to get ready and head to church. I showered, did a very natural makeup look, oiled my legs, put on my dress with a jacket I had lingering in my closet, prepped up my short hair and walked outside. I got in my car, put on my sunglasses (because the light was even worse once I got outside), and proceeded on my way. I refused to miss an amazing word. I fought for the last parking spot in this particular lot, checked my swollen eyes in the mirror, oiled my sore nose and got out, walking across the parking lot in my 5" heels; dress blowing tastefully in the wind. I was sick, but excited. I had made it to church!
I entered the building, trooped it to the middle of the front section, sat for a while and realized "I can't make it through this". I repeated prayers and declarations of healing over myself for a long 15 minutes before I realized: I truly can't make it through this. My eyes were watering, nose was aching and head was stuffy. My sinus pressure was more severe than my shower head's water pressure - which might I add, is amazing. I figured that since I was there I had to at least enjoy praise and worship, so I sat and listened to one of my favorite gospel recording artist's start and complete an amazing set. I got up, right before they announced the praise dancers, and shot to my car.
I was disappointed. I was sad. And I felt so defeated.
I beat myself up about how I should be ashamed that I couldn't find a way to sit through service. I wanted to ring my own neck for not sticking it out a little while longer. But I truly couldn't...not without dropping to the floor passing out from all the medicine I took on an empty stomach; not without ruining everyone else's experience with my nose blowing and distracting watery eyes.
So I left. Put my shades back on. Drove myself home. Stumbled into my second floor apartment. Hung my dress back up. Got in the bed. And watched Varick's live stream from my phone. Thank God for technology! It was at that very moment that I realized the "accessibility" of The Word.
I fought so hard to pry myself from my bed, drag myself out and head to church for a word. But it wasn't until I returned home after a quick 20-minute visit, that I willingly acknowledged The Word is not just in church - it's everywhere. The Word of God is not just what's presented to a congregation from the paradise that is the pulpit. The Word of God is not just present in Sunday service, Wednesday's midweek service or Thursday night bible study. The Word of God is not just told to you by your pastor or one of the other church evangelists. It's not just communicated to you through the walls and stained glass of your church. The Word of God is everywhere. The Word of God is in books, in scripture, loaded in my Evernote app, in my Tasha Cobbs Pandora station, in my car ride home, in the conversations I have, in the drawer I keep at work filled with quotes on post-it notes, in the way I live my life and in my dreams.
It's there when you open your eyes & ears, and close your mouth. It's there when you pray for answers and make requests. It's written all over the pages of your King James, NIV or MSG bibles. It's in the wisdom shared with you by your spiritual brothers and sisters and your greatest mentors. The Word of God is in Instagram posts, Facebook statuses and even here on DEARQUEENS.com. God will speak to you wherever you are, through whichever medium He decides to use, whether you made it to church today, or not.
The truth is, that I didn't need to be in church to hear a word. I could've sat in my stuffy bedroom - with the sounds of William McDowell ministering quietly in the background and my heart and soul tuned into God - and received a word.
God's presence is all around us, and so is His word. And no bad cough, no watery eyes and no sinus infection could ever take that away from me. Perhaps, that is the very word God intended I receive on this Resurrection Sunday.
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