Each day was a gem of its own. One worth wallowing in and enjoying. One we didn't want to let pass, which was evident through our many nights fighting sleep. Each day was too good to let go. We did not worry about what tomorrow would bring. We focused on the day, the minute, and the seconds. We wanted to enjoy it all before it was bedtime. We didn't want to take naps because life was too fun. We didn't want to miss a beat—whether it was playing with our toys or eavesdropping on mom's conversation. Each moment was too precious to pass by.
We forgave. While we may have never forgotten the beatings or time-outs—some of us still talk about them to this day—we found it in our hearts to cuddle up with mommy a few minutes after. Once our tears dried, so did the memory of the pain from the situation. We forgave our friends for accidentally pushing us down at the playground. We forgave our siblings for telling on us, or our older brothers for beating us up. We loved them hard. We loved them unconditionally before we even learned what that word meant; before we knew it existed.
We dreamt. Big dreams. Ones that said we wanted to be astronauts and surgeons. Ones that told us we'd be world-renowned poets and famous Olympians. We carried fake briefcases and medical kits, and dressed up as fabulous as we wanted our lives to become. All the way down to the lipgloss and princess heels—you know...the Barbie ones. We filled our minds with positive affirmations that our parents poured into us, reminding us that we can do all things and be whatever we wanted to be. We sung Nas' "I Know I Can" at our graduations and believed the words we fed the audience.
We were obedient. We listened to our parents because we knew they knew better. They knew thing we never experienced. We knew they knew more than us and that they always had our best interest in mind. They cared for us in ways we couldn't care for ourselves. We trusted their judgment and their guidance, and were obedient to all they'd advise us to do.
We had imaginations. Ones that created the lives we longed for. We portrayed them as reality, while we played with our friends in the backyard. We had endless supplies of Fischer Price money and somehow became chefs In our plastic kitchen sets, cooking for our beautiful black baby dolls. And there was nothing you could tell us that would negate the reality we created during playtime. We became the God of our imaginary lifestyle and we trusted every bit of the future we were pretending to receive.
We were children, living child-like lives, yet somehow those principles we held unto at that young age, are the same principles we need to re-adopt in our adult lives. Children are the example of what our spirituality should look like: cherishing each day, forgiving, loving, hoping, and living in faith. We didn't rush a moment, as children. We didn't hold on to wrongdoings or hatred, as children. We didn't doubt our ability nor our bright future, as children. But somehow, along the way we lost all of that. We lost our obedience, our love and our spirituality. We lost the amazing things we stood for; things we didn't know we had to stand for. We lost our happiness and our hope. We lost our forgiveness and faith. We lost it all at the hands of life happening and paychecks coming up short.
Now, we rush through our days. We can't stand to be awake during tough times, so each day we take countless naps. We rush to bed hoping the next day would be better. Praying that the joy mentioned in Psalm's, will in fact, come in the morning. Now, we won't forgive anyone unless they offer an apology. We won't forget nor forgive. We won't even pray for those who've betrayed us, yet we come before God every night asking Him to forgive us.
Now, we don't dream. We go to dead-end jobs and get comfortable enough to stay there for the sake of paying bills and getting a retirement check at age 70. We no longer want to become astronauts or doctors. We don't want to be anything worth becoming because we're fearful, and the thought of failure is no longer worth us trying to achieve our goals. Some of us won't hope to save our lives. Now, we don't trust God as much as we can see Him. We still don't know any better, but we don't think He does either. Our obedience has wavered, yet we still want His touch in our lives. We don't believe His word, yet we still want Him to fulfill it in our lives. Now, we don't have imaginations. We're only left with the harsh realities of a world that hates us, a world we can't control, and a world we feel lost in.
Perhaps it's time we get our childhood back.
"Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven." [Matthew 18:3-4]
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