In the first 3 days I covered how to love effectively through grace, patience, kindness and other principles mentioned in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. But I'm sure I don't have to tell you how fruitless it all may be when you're loving the wrong person. Many times our hurt - although always a lesson - comes from our full on willingness to love the wrong person. We wear our hearts on our sleeves and do everything right, yet still end up in the deep end of a ditch.
The other half of loving effectively and fruitfully is to ensure you're loving the right one. Hint: the one God sends, is the right one.
HOW DO I KNOW GOD SENT HIM FOR ME?
We must first acknowledge that not every one God sends is for you. There are many relationships we establish that are solely sent to teach us lessons. Lessons about ourselves and about relationships. It's all in preparation. But God does - and will - send the one for you, to you.
Kingdom marriages are real and knowing how to spot whether or not yours will be, is key. Not all of us have the divine connection to hear God yet. So knowing the signs of your God-given King is important for ensuring your relationship is one for the kingdom. These following questions, can help you in identifying if your relationship is a final or just a midterm:
1. Does he fit in with the purpose God has for your life? God will align you with a partner that supports and helps with your God-given vision. Is your new guy welcoming to your purpose? Even if he doesn't understand it, is he willing to support that purpose? Needless to say, it's tiring to work on a purpose that you partner does not support and cannot see the benefit in. It's even more tiring when you have to fight him about it in the process. But, another important piece is whether or not this man can fit in with your purpose. Does his purpose also - in some way - align with yours? Can you help each other in the purpose-driven areas of your life? Bottom line: God's purpose for your life is priority, and if your new guy doesn't fit in with that, then He may not be the one for you.
2. Is he spiritually inept? The Bible says that the man is the head of the wife, and that Christ should be the head of the man. God will not send you a man, who is not willing to keep Christ at the head of himself and his marriage. Why would He? If He can't trust the man to be led He certainly won't trust the man to lead you. Will this new guy help you on your walk with Christ or will he tear you away? Can you two walk together? Does he pray when you cannot? Can he lead you? Does he have his own connection with God? You cannot have a kingdom marriage, without a man connected to the kingdom. Queens, if he's serving no role in the kingdom of God (if he doesn't know God, trust God, and isn't willing to be lead by God) then he should have no place in your queendom.
3. Does he love you in a Christ-like manner? Seems like a stretch doesn't it? "Christ is the ultimate lover, and no man can love me like Christ does." Sure! I'm not here to argue that point. But loving in a Christ-like manner suggests his attempt to love as deeply and unconditionally as Christ loves. Is this new guy, willing to exercise the principles of 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 love? Is he willing to protect, help and trust you? Is he willing to be patient and kind to you? Is he willing to put his pride in his pocket, so he can give you the great things you sometimes don't even deserve? The way a man treats you and loves you can say a lot about who sent him. A man whose properly led by God, will do his best to love you in a Godly manner. He won't just talk about how amazing you are, he'll show you. And I don't mean by buying you nice things and taking you on $200 dates, I mean he will show you his heart. He will show you his motives. And it will be unmistakably obvious. I'm not saying that love will be perfect, but he'll definitely try his best to perfect it.
4. Has he gone through God for you? In one way or another the man will have to retreat to God to get permission to be with you. Often times, it's through God's preliminary declaration that you be sought out by this man. Other times, this means stumbling into a relationship, then separating and being worked on individually. Perhaps he wasn't as ready as he thought he was; or maybe he needed to seek clarity and confirmation. For those already firmly established in their kingdom courting, it may mean seeking God constantly for counsel in the relationship. In some way, this new guy had to have consulted with God, before declaring you're the one for him. If he hasn't, you cannot be sure that this is what has been assigned to your life. Think about it this way: if a man is supposed to be led by God, but he wasn't necessarily led to you, then He truly isn't being led - is he? Has your partner sought God or spoken to God about you? Has he made sure that you are indeed his wife? If he cannot confirm that he is for you, and you cannot confirm that he is for you, then you can deduce that God did not send him for you. Just because he's a good man, doesn't mean he's your good man.
Relationships are give and take. There are men in this world who want to give you the world without expecting anything in return; although reciprocity would be nice. There are men who want to help you reach your dreams while they reach for theirs. Men who will pray with you and for you. Men who will listen to God about you. Men who will go through God to get to you. It's not fiction, it's not a fable - it's real. And those are the men God has been working closely on in preparation for you. This man is designed specifically for you. This is the man God is trusting with His precious cargo. He's not just any Godly man, but the man you were created for. To fit within a mutual purpose, for a mutual assignment, for the advancement of His kingdom.
The King to your kingdom marriage may not have finished preparation yet - that's okay. Don't rush to what Satan sent because it looks good. Continue to prepare yourself for the greatness God plans to send. And if you have any doubts on if it's already here, refer back to these questions.
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Did I miss any? Do you have any other hints for how to figure out if God sent him? Share!
The King to your kingdom marriage may not have finished preparation yet - that's okay. Don't rush to what Satan sent because it looks good. Continue to prepare yourself for the greatness God plans to send. And if you have any doubts on if it's already here, refer back to these questions.
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Did I miss any? Do you have any other hints for how to figure out if God sent him? Share!
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