There was a spider outside my home last month. I couldn't stomach the possibility of it getting in my house, so about 5 minutes after I left to run errands I turned around to deal with the issue at hand. My fear forced me to cancel my post-work workout session and brought me back to my driveway trying to figure out the most effective way to knock this abnormally large spider from it's equally large web.
I called my mother, grabbed my strongest bug spray and trekked back outside. I sprayed the spider with everything I had and watched him drop to the ground as if he was begging for mercy. He managed to run off, where I'm hoping he later suffocated, so I couldn't confirm his death.
There was a spider outside my home last month, and no matter how much I wanted to believe I killed him, my inability to confirm this left me paranoid. I stared at my white walls every time I walked into a room, looking for my frightening foe to be plastered on the wall...waiting for me...with vengeance. Every corner I turned I was expecting the worst. I was afraid to go home and I was terrified to renew my lease. "These creepy bugs could have this place! I'm out of here," I texted my mother as I vented about my frustrations of living in front of a wooded area.
There was a spider outside my home last month, and suddenly walking around my apartment felt like I was walking on needles. Or hot coals. Or on a dirty side walk with no shoes on. Or like I was creeping around somewhere I had no business being. I was practically sneaking around my own place, watching my back every five minutes. I became a prisoner in my apartment, but that was my choice.
I worried about that spider and all other bugs ransacking my apartment with their luggage for weeks, and not one showed up. Not one came into my presence. Weeks of worrying and running from my residence for nothing. Consumed by concern in a situation I had full control over - simply kill the bug when you see it.
I can't be the only one who does that, though. I can't be the only one who worries about things that can easily be taken care of. Whether at school, work, in a relationship, a friendship, a social media spat, a blog post, or anything else that you had enough control over to manage. See, we have the power to control our actions, reactions and responses. We have the power to be big, bold and not be held back - by fear or by bugs. We have the power to break free from whatever prison we fearfully locked ourselves in, and take control. The power to fix it. The power to kill it. The power to move on.
We have power that we haven't even tapped into because we're still so consumed by fear. We're still, for some reason, afraid of that dead spider. We're still clinging to our chests with lost hope, when all we truly have to do is regain our control. Realign ourselves with our purposes and passions. Rethink our methods. Readjust our thinking. Refocus. Refine. We have the power to do that.
We have the power to dream mighty dreams and go after them. The power to end arguments or start them. The power to launch society changing debates and initiatives. The power to change lives. The power to start businesses, have events and host workshops. The power to save lives. The power to save souls. We have the power to dive head first into our passion and make it profitable. The power to turn our blogs into books. The power to turn our lives into movies. We have the power to be philanthropic. To be black girls that rock. The power to be wives, mothers, entrepreneurs, CEOs, teachers, doctors, models, artists, authors, media moguls - the list goes on. But we must first take control. We must first regain control. We must first make tough decisions, fight difficult battles and believe the unbelievable. We have the power to do that.
There was a spider outside my home last month, and today I could care less. I've learned the importance of exercising my power to control the things that matter; the things that are important; the things that I can control. I've killed what I could, freed myself from my self-inflicted bondage, and stomped on fear's neck. The spider outside of my home last month taught me how to do that.
Don't let any of the spiders outside your home make you powerless.
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